Michael found himself in the moment he hoped would never happen again. The Field Superintendent of a large and significant project and he’d just lost his cool with the crew leader of his critical path trade partner….and in front of the entire project crew.  He’d lost his cool before, but this was different.  He is a leader now, with big responsibilities and influence and now he lost all the confidence he’d developed with his team, in one regrettable moment.

Ever been there?  We all have; we don’t like to admit it, but it has happened and probably will again to all of us.  We “F” up, “step in it”, “lose our cool”, however you want to phrase it, as Leaders in pressure cooker situations, when push comes to shove, “shoving” seems the fastest route to getting people to do what we want them to do.   We’re not talking about even a physical shoving, although that happens as well.  What we’re talking about is forcing people to follow rather than earning their following.  What is Leadership anyway if it’s not giving people confidence to follow our direction?

“You can’t lead by Bully!”  If we want others to follow, the way to it is just the opposite of shoving or bullying, controlling, or forcing…. It being vulnerable!

The next day, Michael was to lead the morning huddle with his team, and he wasn’t excited about how to handle it!

 

As he opened the meeting, he found himself acting and saying something he hadn’t done often, if ever, with others who worked for him.  He began…. “Yesterday, I found myself in a situation that I now regret!  Some of you were there but I’m sure you’ve all heard, I “F’ed” up!  I needed something done and I wasn’t getting what I wanted, so I lost my cool with one of my team members…. I’m not proud of it, but it happened, and I want you to know that’s not the leader I am and I’m going to do something about it!   So, my first step to real leadership is to acknowledge what I did, come clean and attempt to repair and rebuild the trust I’ve lost.  Hopefully, I can do that…Hopefully, you can forgive me and accept my promise, not to “lead by bully” again!

That afternoon, as the crew was wrapping up and leaving the project site, as they walked by Michael, they nodded and smiled, as if to say thanks Boss!  I was shocked!  Did that guy just smile at me!  Wow!

What happened to Michael is what can happen to all of us when we lead with Authenticity and Vulnerability.  While it may be our opposite instinct to show our weak side, at the end of the day, who are we fooling?  We all have our “weak sides”.  Why not come clean, use it as a strength, learn from our mistakes and get even better!  You never know, like Michael, that may be just the thing our teams need to re-pair and re-gain confidence in us as Leaders.